20 years since we last saw the face of our sweet 17 month old son, Darrin. Hard to believe. He was such a precious little boy, a fighter who clung to life and touched many hearts in the brief time he had with us. He knew “his people,” and had special ways of showing his connection with his mommy, daddy, big sister, grandparents, and others who cared for him. Darrin was a surprise to us. We knew he was coming of course, but he was not the healthy, normal child we were expecting. We grieved the loss of that child, while embracing this gift of God placed in our arms. We had no idea how long he would be with us, and all the challenges and roller coaster of emotions that we would live through with him for those 17 short months.//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ google_ad_client: “ca-pub-9969701912130395”, enable_page_level_ads: true }); We didn’t know our home would sometimes be Grand Central Station, with people in and out all times of the day and night, helping care for us and him, and how many Dr. visits, phone calls, painful procedures, and hospital stays were coming along. We didn’t understand the pain of Darrin’s grandparents—for themselves, their children (his parents), and his sister. We didn’t know all the wonderful people—some who were strangers at first—who would became like family to us throughout this time. We will never forget: a favorite babysitter, nurses, therapists, volunteers, church friends who came to clean, bring food, and give us a break, and of course grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and many others. We did not know what the heartache would be like to see your child take his last breaths and slip into eternity. We didn’t know what it would be like to hand his lifeless body to a funeral director who holds a special place in the this mother’s heart, and has become a dear friend of ours. We also did not know how painful the grief process would be, as we also watched our 3 year old daughter grieving for a brother that was clearly “hers,” and how to explain that loss to her—when she just wanted to swing on her swing up to Heaven to see him. We had no idea that his yet unborn little brother would go through his own phase of grieving a brother he never got to know.

We didn’t know how many other friends we would make as the years go by, who have also joined the club of losing a child or children…. the shared pain and tears, and comfort found together. We didn’t know how much closer Heaven would seem, and the peace of knowing our little boy was free from his crippled body and complete in the presence of Jesus.

So much God has taught us through blessing us with our Darrin.  And yes, as the years pass it seems more like a dream. We have had other losses in our lives since. We trust that Darrin now has 2 grandparents with him in Heaven, and can only imagine that reunion. So 20 years… our children would now be 23, 21, and 19, but one is forever 17 months earth side, and will always be missed. We will never forget, and Darrin will always be part of who we are. On this day, we remember…. Until we meet again.